It has always been a wonder how I get random confessions and random stories from random people. People say I have this nurturing aura and I seem like to be so accommodating, they find it easy to open up to me. I don’t know how true it is for them but judging by the number of people ranting out their frustrations about their failed relationships, people sharing me their deepest darkest secret, their indisputable sense of trust in me must have come from somewhere.
From where, I have no idea.
Pag may time naman talaga, I listen. Because at one point in my life, I’ve once felt the need to share a piece of my brokenness, not for people to heal it but to somehow help me see thru it.
I used to believe that pain is manageable but losing my mom last year made me realize I got it all wrong. Pain grows when harboured. Grows more when denied. And I believe that we are most capable of hurting ourselves and people around us when we are oblivious of our ragged edges. Hurt people hurt people, they say. And sometimes, turning to someone who can let us see thru these edges, and realize the potential danger that we already are, is already enough to stop ourselves from creating more pain. Or atleast manage the casualties so we don’t lose ourselves in the process.
During these convos, marami secrets and revelations tungkol sa ganap sa buhay na bihira pag usapan in public scared to be judged and discriminated by their choices.
Listening to their stories doesn’t mean enabling them. Or tolerating their ways. Makikinig lang tayo. Hindi Kailangan Himay himayin kung anong standards of morality and value system meron sila. O kwestyunin bakit sila nauwi sa ganun klase ng buhay.
Minsan, people only need someone who will sit with them in their darkest moment and not try to help them get out of it. They don’t all the time need arms to help them fix their shit together. Minsan, kailangan lang nila is someone who is willing to listen to them and accept them (not necessarily their actions/choices) without biases. And tell them,
“You know what, if nothing of it makes sense to you right now but so long it makes you happy, that makes sense a lot.”
So kung may chance, try to listen to friends who’s been trying their best to reach out. You’ll never know what it can do to them…
And to you as well.
Sabi nga, sa buhay it’s either you win, or you learn. And learning is but winning.