Dec 16, 2004 | 9pm | DLSUMC

Part 1

I know many of you are eager to know what happened, and I deeply appreciate you giving me the space to grieve and process this profound loss in silence. In time, I will be able to share details how Papa and I faced this battle together. But for now, let me do it one heartbreak at a time.

If there’s one person who knows everything, ako po yun. If there’s one person who was there from day 1 till his last breath, it was me. So if you hear a different version of the story, know that it’s a lie built on hypocrisy. I was there, holding Papa’s hand through every agonizing moment, doing everything I could to help him ease the pain, while all they had were fingers pointed in blame. Ask them: Where were you when Papa was suffering in pain? What help did you extend during those moments? While I was right there by his side, holding his hand, they were absent, all consumed by their self-righteousness and big ego, and now they act as though they have any right to claim understanding. Now they act as though they were his good and loving protective children. Nakakatouch naman!

TRUTH REVEALED

It was Dec 16 when he was rushed to ER. Ayaw mag stop ng chest pain ni Papa. Even after taking anti-heart attack meds and doctor doubling his Morphine dosage, the pain refused to subside. The attack would linger for a minute, returning relentlessly every 3 to 4 minutes. My father was never the religious type, but I saw Papa praying between attacks, praying with a depth and desperation I had never seen in him before.

It was an incredibly painful experience for me to witness him struggling and enduring such intense pain. For about two hours, I could only watch as how my 81 year old father fought through it until the medication finally took effect. It was a kind of heartbreak I had never experienced before—one that made me feeling helpless and shattered. But I had to remain calm and equally strong. Habang hawak ko yung Criminal Law book sa loob ng ER. (I was studying for finals when I got the call and immediately drove to the hospital, still holding the book.)

Believe me when I say, no child should have to face this kind of heartbreaking moment with their parent, but I wanted to be there for Papa every step of the way. I wanted to be by his side reassuring everything will be alright.

On the vid, the doctor was explaining the necessity of an angiogram and possible angioplasty procedure to closely examine what was causing the chest pain and to guide appropriate treatment. Had to take a vid if in case may hnd ako maintindihan or baka hnd mag register sa utak ko, may vid ako na babalikan.

You heard it, it was the best option we had at time. There was no other way. And if I had to, I would do the same thing over again, choosing what’s best for him, no hesitations, just to buy more time with Papa…

To be continued.