Nikki is 19

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For the past 10years lagi kami out of the country pag April-May to celebrate Niks’ bday o kaya vacation ng mga bata. Ang totoo dapat nasa Rome kami last April 28-May 16 dahil may Papal Audience si Niks plus derecho pamamasyal na din but was cancelled because of this pandemic. Kapag sa mga pagkakataon na nanghihina puso ko at napapatanong ako why Mama is gone, naiisip ko what God has planned for me before it happened.

Kung walang pandemic, wala kami sa Pinas.At kung nawala si Mama ng May 1 because it’s her time to be with the Lord, iniisip ko un dobleng sakit siguro na nararanasan ko and maiipit ako between obligasyon ko kay Niks and bilang anak. Arnel was also promoted, kaya work from Home sya. Imagine kung di sya na promote, at NASA ibang lugar sya, pano ko kaya kakayanin? Ang daming naglalaro sa isip ko kung sakaling nangyari Ito in a different setting.

And knowing how my mother wants me to be stronger, she died 1 week before Niks bday. Ayaw nya ko mahaba panahon na umiiyak o nakakaramdam na mag isa ko, kasi one week after, my daughter’s bday is a big reminder of God’s love for me.

At pag mas malakas ako, mas maalalagaan ko si Papa, mga kuya and pamangkin at ang ate kong iyakin.

Thank you Lord, thank you for preparing everything for me. Ang kailangan ko nalang tlaga mas lumakas pa ang loob ko at mas tibayan ang pananalig sa yo. Gabayan mo po kami lagi.

No fancy birthday dinner, just cooked Niks’ favorite Bolognese spaghetti and medium-rare steak with my very own red wine gravy. It was a hit, as always.

I didn’t cry today, and so I thought I deserve a glass of cold coke-whiskey for a good night sleep.

Thank you Lord for my daughter. 🙏

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